The Yale Journal for Humanities in Medicine    

Gut Feelings

The Return of the I-Man II

Robert S. Rosson, M.D.
rerosson@comcast.net

Don Imus recently returned to radio and TV as I predicted on these ethereal pages.  This demonstrates America’s affinity for redemption as well as the primacy of commercial advertising in our society.  I now predict that one of his early guests will be President George W. Bush and that the interview will go something like this:

Imus:  Welcome to the program, Mr. President

Bush:  Thank you, Don.  I’m pleased to be here and especially happy that you’re back on the air.

Imus:  Let’s get right to it.  How are things going in Iraq?

Bush:  We’re making progress, the surge is working and we’re creating a peaceful, stable democracy in the Middle East.

Imus:  Judging from the results of the last election, the American public doesn’t agree. Most people feel the war was a big mistake. 

Bush:  We must stay the course, not cut and run.

Imus:  Even though violence is decreased, many Iraqis and U.S. troops are still getting killed.  And the government has not met most of the goals we set for them.

Bush:  In Iraq we toppled a murderous dictator and prevented him from using weapons of mass destruction against us,

Imus: Which he never had!  Who are you kidding, Mr. President?

Bush: Watch it!  Besides I had to finish the work my father didn’t do.

Imus:  But who’s your daddy now?  Rummy?

Bush:  I canned him.  It’s Shooter Cheney. 
 
Imus:  I thought he was convicted of lying.

Bush:  That’s SCOOTER Libby! Why don’t you ask me about North Korea and their nuc-u-lar ambitions?

Imus:  Why can’t you say nuc-le-ar?  And you better watch out for Iran in this regard.

Bush:  If the Iranians get nuc- uh - nuc-uh - atomic bombs, I’ll invade them and turn them into a peaceful, stable democracy.

Imus:  Not again!

Bush:  That’s enough, I-Man.  Let’s change the subject.

Imus:  OK.  Who do you like in the current Republican race?

Bush:  I favor the views of that preacher feller, but he doesn’t have a prayer.  Heh, Heh.

Imus:  How about the Democrats?  They’ll be running either a woman or an African-American.

Bush:  You don’t rate very well with either of those groups, Imus.

Imus:  This is not about me!  Many people fear that we’re in the midst of either a Clinton or Bush dynasty.

Bush:  Don’t worry.  Laura is too nice and too smart to get involved in politics and my girls aren’t interested.  Jeb is a possibility but who knows?

Imus:  Thank you, Mr. President.  Come back again.

Bush:  Thanks, Don.  Ask me before next January, after which I’ll be history.

Published: February 14, 2008