These are actual announcements as drawn from church
bulletins: 1.Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help. 2. Thursday night potluck supper. Prayer and medication
to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church
& community. 4. For those of you who have children and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs. 5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce
the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.
Julius Belzer. 6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south
and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at
both ends. 7.Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All
ladies giving milk please come early. 8. Wednesday,the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs.
Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the
pastor. 9. Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little
Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please
see the minister in his private study. 10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to
come forward and lay an egg on the altar. 11. The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water."
One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the
congregation will join in. 12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to
defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do
something on the new carpet will come forward and get a
piece of paper. 13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of
every kind and they may be seen in the church basement
Friday. 14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
church hall. Music will follow. 15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will
be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir
practice. 16. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the
side entrance. 17. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10
& 11. 18. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the
church secretary. 19. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the
addition of several new members and to the deterioration of
some older ones. 20. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week
for testes. 21.The Senior Choir invites any member of the
congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. 22. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and
Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first
child. 23.Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other
items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple
children. 24. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak,
mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be
served for a nominal feel. 25. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new
tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up
Yours." ! !